


Flirting Context

by ibeta



Series: Scenarios [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Protective Sans, Red gets hit on, There is a giant fluffy bunny, ask for plot, both ways, flustered red, kustard - Freeform, they are on the surface
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 21:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibeta/pseuds/ibeta
Summary: Red muses that it's peaceful in Sans' world... Until some giant fluffy bunny gets the nerve to hit on him.





	Flirting Context

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mercy_Run](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Run/gifts), [Muskka](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Muskka), [Mus_reads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mus_reads/gifts).



> It was plotted ages ago, and this is a revised scenario for a Fontcest/Fellcest plot that involved secretly married Sans and secretly married Red. Not to each other. It's long and I'm only spoiling one dragon for that plot. It involves eclipses. XD
> 
> This is a thank you for that image you made for silverryu25 and I.

It wasn’t a beautiful day outside. The sky was cloudy, the plants were dead under heaps of snow and the birds had migrated somewhere warmer since before the start of winter.

Some months in this place and he was already getting sick of snow again. He’d seen blankets and blankets of white in his Underground and it wasn’t even nice after realizing dust was all over the snow.

While he was thankful this place wasn’t as horribly murderous as his universe, Red wished sometimes that he dropped somewhere in this universe around spring. Spring was more about life blooming from this winter deadness… Wasn’t that something he needed? A reprieve from all the death and destruction from his old universe? It would be a nice reminder that they weren’t in that LOVE-filled wasteland. While summer was enjoyable and there were colours _everywhere_ (stars knew his underground had the edgiest black outfits ever made), there wasn’t enough time until autumn came, and followed closely by winter. Closely edging its way forward was his needed spring, but his brother was such a winter person it was too funny to miss.

It was like there was a _spring_ in his steps, when he did his rounds as a security guard at the human-monster school.

Heh.

Red (he’d gotten used to the affectionate name) took another sip of his spicy drink, eyelights roving around the bar for the fourth time. There were some of the dogs hanging around, eagerly playing cards against each other. Annoying Dog had slipped in and started helping Doggo cheat without knowing anything about it. A couple of drunken bunnies were up to their seventh glass of spider cider, specially ordered from the Muffet’s Menu of the pub.

According to Sans, Grillby admired Muffet’s determination to gather funds for her spiders and sought to help her out. In turn, Muffet helped Grillby collect his tabs.

“the look on his _face_ , red,” Sans had choked on his laughter while Grillby looked on long-sufferingly from the bar. “i just took out the bag of gold i always keep in my pocket and handed it over with two-thousand extra gold. i thought he was going to faint. muffet looked ready to catch him.”

They were Sanses, after all. What were ten-thousand gold coins to their extremely effective sales? Red had once sold a plane prototype to the Fell Tsunderplane for a thousand gold. Sans had sold a yacht he’d found and fixed for more than a hundred-thousand gold to some unsuspecting water monster.

(They didn’t need the gold, really. They just needed… their brothers.)

He sighed as the scent of his dinner reached him. He turned back to the bar, keeping one socket peeled as Grillby placed his burger down. He didn’t bother to garnish it with his usual prank of mustard. It wasn’t worth it now that this Grillby learned how to make proper burgers.

He savoured the taste of his meal, appreciating how much effort it probably took Grillby to disguise the vegetable with a meaty texture and taste. Monster food worked miracles. That the setting was something he could relax in was just a bonus. (It helped that Sans donated a large pile of gold to help Grillby refurbish his bar.) The furniture was homely but sleek; the previous warmer tones were a little darker, but still welcoming.

It was peaceful here.

So it was a surprise when some bunny monster disrupted his downtime at Grillby’s.

“Hey there.”

Red held in his scowl. Didn’t the monsters already know not to mess with him in this place?

“w-what?” he asked gruffly. He didn’t look away from the half of his meal, grabbing instead a bottle of mustard that was conveniently left out for him.

“Uh…”

Red turned and then sweated a bit when he saw the bigger monster. Stars, the bunny was huge. What did he eat for breakfast? Humans? He hoped the monster left when he saw Red’s sharp fangs, but he didn’t. Instead, the bunny blushed with magic and then his eyes widened with… recognition.

Shit.

“O-oh, wow. Uh… weren’t you here that other night?”

“h-huh?” That other night? Red stared blankly at the bunny, and then hunched his shoulders, uncomfortable that he was even contemplating answering the bunny. He did drink with the three other skeletons in Grillby’s bar… that night was… well, the less it was brought up, the less he would...

The bunny didn’t seem to be deterred. He perked right up, grinning. “You're that monster that speaks in a lot of languages! Wow! Do you mind if I sit down…?”

The bunny sat down in the empty seat next to him without waiting for an answer.

“So, what’s up?”

‘ _the ceiling,_ ’ Red was tempted to reply. He eyed the other monster suspiciously, scanning him from head to toe. He wore a simple shirt and pants like the rest of Grillby’s patrons. His fur was just an off-shade of brown and his ears looked healthy.

In short, he really didn’t know why this bunny was gunning for him.

“err…” Why did the bunny look like he wanted to _jump_ his bones?

The bunny kept flashing him a look. “So, I, uh, heard that you have, um, different magic?” the bunny prodded, seeming like he didn’t mind his awkwardness. “How different is it? Can we compare?”

“w-what?” Was that… a _line_? Oh stars. Was this bunny flirting with him? He sought out Grillby’s form, sending out a pleading look and hoping he would swoop in for a save.

Grillby didn’t notice. He was busy cleaning up the counters for tips, the greedy firehead.

“I just meant that you really loo—”

He growled lowly, frustrated that he had to deal with this Fluffy Bunny wannabe. “listen, bud—”

Before Red could even tell the bunny he didn’t want anything to do with him, someone smoothly slid into the space beside his seat, and then planted a kiss on his cheek. He would have sputtered if he hadn’t recognized the magic. He turned his head with a reflexive, shy smile.

It was Sans, of course.

“hey…” Sans murmured his greeting, his smile soft and his eyelights warm. Red flushed with magic. He still hadn’t gotten used to the easy affection that Sans expressed in every action he did.

“h-hey, sans.” His presence was a welcome balm of patience. He didn’t think he could handle snapping at some poor giant fluffy bunny, even if he wanted to send his rabbit tail up to the moon with the rest of his relatives.

Red was surprised that instead of snapping up a pun, Sans leaned close, and then buried his face into his exposed neck. There was a short pause before Sans nuzzled him, flustering him beyond repair. Red could only hold in his gasp and his stammering as much as he could. Now he slightly regretted taking off his jacket for the comfort of a simple long-sleeved sweater. This was… too much.

“i missed you last night,” Sans murmured tenderly into his cervical. Red squeaked, blushing even further at the sentiment _. What?_ He and Sans had been together last night watching movies!

“w-what? you were—” _right there_ , he didn’t get to add, because Sans wrapped a single arm around him, coaxing Red to lean into him from his seat. Red followed the movement blankly, mind stuttering in some half-hearted protest.

He liked it when Sans was feeling cuddly. He was more than likely to seek Red out instead of waiting for Red to gain the courage to initiate friendly things. They were best buds, really, and that was comforting to Red, who hadn’t had the time to trust someone with something as heavy as the r… resets. Sans was the best person to trust about it, with them sharing experience it wasn’t that hard to navigate through misunderstandings.

Red really wasn’t sure where to put his hands sometimes, but Sans knew about things like that and helped him out. He was the expert in being more affectionate, more than the other two skeletons left (their brothers). Papyrus was affectionate, yes, but he was the kind to stop hugging after some internal timer passed and Red had once wondered if he’d done something wrong. Luckily, Sans had quickly replaced his brother after reading the confusion in his expression. (He’d signed something about Papyrus being more responsible and not wasting time, but Red had blurred out the rest when he fell asleep on the couch with Sans.)

Edge… His Papyrus… well. His brother loathed wasting time on affection. He was more prone to exerting all his efforts into his guarding duties and leaving Red to his own devices. Red didn’t have to wonder where he stood with his brother. Edge hated him – he never touched Red if he could. No signs of affection, no sign of needing him. He was independent as every other monster in their old underground.

And… wow. Sans was really addling his brain with more questions than answers.

“hmm?” Sans sounded expectant, but Red’s thoughts were struggling to keep up. Sans was smoothing down his side, up and down, so gently, without a pattern, and stars it was… _nice_. Moreover, it was distracting. Sans wasn’t this much affectionate outside of the house, and it was strange to experience something _new_ like this—

Oh.

 _Oh_.

It suddenly dawned on him like a hammer to the skull. He felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. Sans was trying to be his _bone_ friend. This was just… real affection mixed with _acting_. Red held in his sigh of relief and relaxed into his role. Sanses were good at improvisations.

“you... ah...” Red breathed, shuddering when Sans kissed a particularly sensitive bone. Was he… was Sans supposed to do that? He really didn’t know. “y-you were the only thought inside my head last night.”

He could feel the pleased smile widen on Sans’ skull before the other skeleton withdrew, pressing their temples together, adding more romantic touches here and there with a sly hand. Red helped Sans by becoming more pliant to the ministrations. He really didn’t mind being hugged by someone he trusted.

“Um… Excu—”

“oh?” Sans murmured suddenly, pulling away slightly. Red turned to see what he was looking at and saw the stupefied giant bunny gaping at them. “who’s our new friend?”

Red grinned. Wow, his counterpart was ruthless. “i think he’s one of those language fans, you know? just met him today. i think he wanted to ask how many languages we knew… i think he said something about comparing something?”

The bunny made an offended face and opened his mouth, probably to deny it and reclaim Red’s attention, but Sans cut him off.

“ _we_ know a **ton** ,” Sans rumbled lowly. Red raised his browridge in interest. It was short and vague enough to be possessive and threatening, combined with that low, almost draconian (?) vibration of Sans’ magic. “a skele- **ton** ,” his fake bonefriend added with an mirthless chuckle.

He didn’t know what kind of face Sans was making, but the Fluffy Giant Bunny was shaking in his boots. Suddenly, he heard a happy little tune piping from the bunny’s pockets. The bunny quickly fetched out a phone and read it, his face melting with heartfelt relief.

“Oh wow!” the bunny squeaked, backing away without turning around. Good instincts, Red supposed, not leaving his back to two irritated skeletons. “I think my mom is calling me. Bye!”

They watched as the bunny scampered away, running out the door and tumbling on the ground through the window. The bunny then got up, limping away, expression stunned with fear.

“huh.”

“that looked like it hurt,” Red added with a sharp, satisfied grin. Karma really did pay off sometimes. He tucked closer to his counterpart, soaking in Sans’ friendly hug. Sans didn’t protest, only holding him closer.

After a short while, they parted ever so slightly, and Sans asked, “so what’s up with that?”

“some creep,” Red mumbled, shrugging. A frown pulled down his counterpart’s mouth, so he gestured to the other seat of the booth. “come on.”

Sans pulled away from him, slowly. There was a curious expression on Sans’ face, and the flirty undertones of his acting disappeared in the instant Red slid his plate over, sharing what was left of his burger.

To his surprise, Sans only blinked, and then he started separating the bun, the pickles, the patty, the green stuff… _Stars_ , they really were the same skeleton. Red hadn’t even thought of categorizing his burger after some bites. He hated eating burgers fully if it wasn’t an ongoing process. If he ate half and put it on his plate, he would have started picking it apart. He had to keep it in his hands to be eaten so it wouldn’t get dissected in the way Sans was dissecting the burger.

“there’s no ketchup in that one.” Red would know, because there hadn’t been mustard in it, too.

“could you pass the bottle?” his counterpart asked in such a way that was both slightly pleading and kind. It was nice that Red could read him just as easily as Sans could read him. He had a hard time of reading his brother, but Sans was easier and sweeter – he didn’t like lying, so he was as honest as he could be.

Maybe it was because they’d exchanged SOULs in the first meeting.

(It had been excruciating, but relieving. He’d utterly relieved his counterpart wasn’t some sort of evil incarnate that was pretending to be nice. He had a feeling that Sans equally found it relieving that Red wasn’t some sort of random murderer. Red didn’t even have LOVE to brag about. His brother, on the other hand… well. That was a different story.)

Red slid over the bottle and crossed his arms on the counter, avidly observing Sans’ method of separating the ingredients away from each other. He’d arranged it by brightness and shade and it was funny when Sans sliced everything lengthwise like fries.

Red grabbed a slice and Sans didn’t even protest. He dipped it in the ketchup mountain and gobbled it up like the goblin the fluffy Toriel deemed them to be.

“want to talk about the new one they released?” Sans offered.

For a single moment, Red had no idea what he was talking about, until he remembered last night’s musings about the language difference in their universes.

Oh. Right. Some country in this universe had the bright idea of creating some national language because they had too many in one country. It was a wise choice, but Red thought it was also a stupid one. How would they spread the word to every person in the nation? They’d have to go door-to-door to meet the unfortunate ones.

Red turned his seat to Sans and nodded. “remember that guy from tibet?” He’d accidentally took a shortcut while he was dead tired and managed to find a drunken human loitering in the woods looking for things to forage. He’d spoken in some weird language and Red just _had_ to know what he was saying.

It had been useful in eavesdropping on conversations, most of the time.

Sans snorted and his shoulders shook, like he was trying to hold in his laughter. He swallowed chewed food and snickered. “i learned ten ways to ask for directions, yes.”

Now Red had to wonder what _Sans_ did with the guy from Tibet. Red remembered his own experience of eating some monk-made bread and gulping down a gallon or so of tea while the other person drank some kind of alcoholic drink from his moleskin bottle.

“well, they say it’ll have a close likeness to their accent, you know?”

“what? i haven’t seen that comment yet, but the article said they’re going through every language to grab some words.”

“stupid,” Red uttered under his breath. Why can’t humans just stick to one language? All the different languages did was create human barriers. Though he supposed it had something to do with culture and stuff.

“they can’t learn it like we do, red.” Sans didn’t have to remind him, though.

Red flushed and ducked his head, fiddling with his sleeve. “I jus’ thought they’d be smarter about it, ya know? some of ‘em will miss the announcement.” Especially if there were woodland people or something.

Sans made a face of agreement. “they’ll have to hand out flyers.”

“in the person’s language,” Red added.

Sans made a face like he tasted something bad. “stars, that just makes me want to sleep in,” he mumbled.

Red burst out in laughter. “i was thinkin’ the same thing!” he wheezed. “add in some shut windows—”

“and doors—”

“and some grub when we get hungry—”

“we’ll have to browse the ‘net for books—”

“there’d be a pile of soft blankets,” Red added almost dreamily. In his underground, that was a rare thing to find. Anything that screamed ‘luxury’ was bound to be expensive as hell. He hadn’t bought any in fear that his brother would find his secret stash of gold.

In Sans’ universe, it was abundant as they come, so he never had to hide it.

“a fort,” Sans countered.

“ _pillow_ fort,” Red had to upgrade. Sans beamed at him with pride. “never had that many pillows before.” He should call this verse some kind of fluffy name like Pillows.

“we can get some things from downstairs,” his counterpart murmured, looking off into the distance.

Red scraped his skull for more ideas. “a couple of tools for tinkering?”

Sans paused at that. “maybe a toy plane? you made one before, right?”

“small room.”

“ _small_ toy plane.”

“we could probably make new ones, right?”

“i have some ideas... paperclip ideas.”

Red grinned at his counterpart. “that’s good enough for me.” He stopped, then thought for a moment of something that intrigued him. “so, did you hear about that new planet they’ve found?” he whispered lowly.

“already trying to track it.”

He grinned at Sans and Sans grinned back, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

It was nice to have someone who thought slightly like him supporting his ideas, especially if it was someone like Sans.

—

“W-WHAT? THAT WAS IT?” Papyrus sputtered quietly from his seat, watching carefully under his disguise as their brothers continued to talk about more languages that humans made in the past 300 years or so.

It was quite confusing, honestly. He had no idea Sans and Red were this well-versed in language until… that one night the Sanses were tipsy and all over each other (and yet not all over each other), talking in languages that both Edge and Papyrus hadn’t recognized. Red had been spooning Sans that night and touching him, and it wasn’t until Sans had been asked personal questions that the Sanses started conversing in different languages.

After that suspicious moment, Edge had enlisted his help to follow them and observe their brothers. They had no clue how their brothers learned to speak like that in just such a short time on the surface. They had the secret video from that night translated and the meanings were… exceptionally lewd.

(They successfully convinced the translator to keep quiet… or face the consequences.)

He hadn’t known Sans was bonded or that he enjoyed… things, or that Red kept trying to stop his brother from revealing too much information about whatever secret they were hiding from everyone.

Bonded… Both of their brothers each had a bondmate somewhere. Sans more likely so, while Red had probably left his bonded behind by complete accident.

He had known _nothing_ of this. _Edge_ knew nothing of this. And here Papyrus thought that he and Sans had a closer relationship than Edge and Red, when it was actually _Red_ that had a closer relationship with _Sans_.

It was too confusing to think about it.

He glanced at Edge, taken aback by his other-self’s nervous expression.

Edge noticed him staring, but then glanced immediately at their brothers. “YOUR BROTHER IS DANGEROUS!”

Papyrus protested at that. “MY BROTHER IS VERY SWEET!” Sans did sweetly greet Red. He even helped cut up Red’s hamburger meal! Now Sans was offering Red a chance to look around in the Underground for fun things to do and gather echo flowers for pranks and—

“HE IS NOT!” Edge held firm, throwing him a look. “DID YOU NOT SEE THE WAY HE THREATENED THE BUNNY?! HE WAS NOT JOKING AROUND!”

“MY BROTHER CAN BE SERIOUS AT TIMES,” Papyrus conceded, knowing it was true, “BUT HE IS NATURALLY A PACIFIST, SO HE WOULD DO NOTHING TO BUNTAIL.”

“OF COURSE YOU’D KNOW THAT STUPID RABBIT’S NAME,” Edge grunted. Papyrus gave him an exasperated look, concerned at the tone of his counterpart’s voice. “BUT BESIDES YOUR BROTHER’S SHOCKINGLY THREATENING MAGIC, WE HAVE NOT FOUND ANYTHING NEW ABOUT THE NAME OF THEIR BONDMATES.”

Papyrus wondered vaguely if their Sanses even had the same bondmate. Would it not be different since they had different lives? But no—the video proved to be a mine of information.

“SANS MENTIONED THAT THEY WERE SHORTER THAN HIM, SWEET AND ROMANTIC. IT COULD BE ANYONE!”

Edge scowled and glanced back at their brothers. “RED SAID NEARLY THE SAME THING THAT NIGHT. HOPEFULLY WE’LL FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.”

“SANS AND RED SOUNDED LIKE THEY TRULY LOVE THEM,” Papyrus murmured, “AND THEY CALLED THEM SWEET NICKNAMES, LIKE STARLIGHT. I WONDER IF IT HAS TO DO WITH THAT? MAYBE A TINY STAR MONSTER? DO WE HAVE A STAR MONSTER?”

“NO.”

“THEN WE’LL FOLLOW THEM AGAIN NEXT WEEK.”

—

Next week, Red swooped in and pushed Sans against the wall away from some other bunny that was flirting with him, and then proceeded to touch him almost lewdly while Edge and Papyrus stared gapingly.

When the bunny didn’t back off, Red summoned terrifyingly sharp bones and snarled the bunny out of the bar and then proceeded to converse with Sans like he did not just terrify someone away.

Papyrus hoped they weren’t dating.

**Author's Note:**

> I love fontcest, but I'm also a Dirty Kustard Shipper. DiKS for short. The other one is Dirty Fellcest Shipper... DellS (?!). 
> 
> Why is it M? Well, anything with Kustard is probably secretly M (I actually don't know which rating this is, but it's extremely suggestive, so...)
> 
> Mistakes mine! If confused, ask. XD


End file.
